18 September 2008

Reflections on turning 40

Fourty is still quite young, but passing this age marker gave me pause to contemplate my life. It is not that I feel old, quite the contrary. It commenced self inquiry as to who am I, where am I going, and who do I want to be. What became quite apparent for me was that I need to work on taking care of me a bit better. You know that old, "practice what you preach bit."

I have spent the last two years building bridges for networks, organisations and other women to help them grow. Somewhere in the midst of it, I forgot to connect the bridge back to myself, as an individual. I have begun my fourtieth year with a promise to myself to feed my soul and connect locally. I will participate more in my local and region networks. I will nurture the local friendships that have sprouted since relocating to Sweden two years ago.

To ensure that I can enjoy the next fourty or so years, I will join a gym and get my body moving again. A former exercise junky, I have spent far too much time putting exercise as a low priority. It is not a luxury, it is a necessity for both my mental and physical health.

I will work on my self-awareness. This is a tough one. It is easy to say, not so easy to do. Noticing from little indicators, is key to my keeping a healthy not heavy heart. Indicators, like a cluttered desk, laundry piled high, excess sugar and caffeine intake, writers block are all things that tell me that I need to step back and evaluate. The good thing is that the first three can all be fixed, and the fourth is often fixed by working on the others.

Part and parcel with this is to reach out when I need to and talk about it instead of going it alone. So I will follow my own advice that I give my children "use your words." I often hear myself say to them that I cannot help them unless they tell me what is bothering them. Well, it is time to use my words. And so I share them with you.

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